stripping is good

one of the things that will be changing for us as we move towards the city of va beach will be my job. for the past 8 years i've been paid to teach, mentor, disciple, and administrate the students involved in our student ministries here in white stone. however, in this new endeavor, i will not be receiving a check from the church.

that means i have to find a job. i've already got a few leads and have had an interview. its a bit scary, the process of putting myself out there over and again. and then once i start a new job there is the getting to know people. new people. inviting them into my life. thats just hard work. in fact, some of the hardest work i've ever done has been spending the energy it takes to let people in. more on this later.

what i want to get at now is my identity. its been so easy over the last several years to reply to 'what do you do?' with...'i work with youth'. or 'i am a youth pastor'. for the first time in almost a decade i won't be finding my identity in teaching the bible, or mentoring youth, or leading worship, or anything that can instantly make me sound 'deep' as a profession. i know that there were some obvious times that i fell prey to this mindset.

i have often wondered if i found my identity in Christ or my profession. any pastor's conference or convention where i would meet someone would start with what i did and how many people were in my church and/or youth ministry. talk about a twisted way to find validation and assert my a false identity. it doesn't help that those are the first two questions anyone asks at these kind of gatherings. but one of the problems that comes with being a paid minister is the extreme temptation to ground oneself in the title as opposed to the Christ.

and during this transition process i've come to find that i've relied way too much on my job for my identity. if i am going to ever take this missional living seriously...if i am ever going to allow the mission to work its way from the inside out of my life...then i must find my identity in Christ and his mission for me in the restoration of creation.

i'm not completely sure what this means in great detail right now. maybe it means i spend the time to let people get to know me and me them instead of putting forth the energy to impress them initially. maybe it means i am more free to simply serve other people instead of looking for the 'glamorous ministry opportunity' which i know will sound good in a sermon or in conversation with friends, since i won't be preaching sermons any time in the near future.

this is one of the things i love about our move however. its another way that my life is being stripped down. i have come to believe that God is stripping us down of our excess baggage during this season of our lives. stripping is good.