confession

there are times when i want to be superman. i don't want to admit that i have emotions or that i could possibly be affected by what goes on around me. its very human to feel this way. to not want to admit that we don't always have it all together. it isn't very human to not be affected however. yesterday was one of those days where i was influenced by life to the point that i just wanted to go somewhere and cry like a kid. my own arrogance and pride kept me from really allowing that to happen. i didn't allow myself to be real, in the moment. instead i found ways to 'hide' from others and from the particular situations that were unfolding.

i spent years doing that through the use of substances and by using people. its not something i'm proud of. interestingly enough, you take away the substances and the manipulation of others...and i still found myself hiding.

the best thing i can do is confess that here. i confess that i hide. i confess that my pride is in the way more often than i would like. i confess that i don't have 10% of my life together. i confess that confessing makes me feel so refreshed:)